So I think a lot of people think of us as sort of their kinky slutty fairy godmothers, the older mentors that their moms and grandmoms can’t be for them.
Dossie’s in her seventies and I’m about to turn sixty – we’re both old enough to be the grandmothers of many of the people who read our books. I think part of the reason Dossie and I can help people is because we’re not young or rich or good-looking or any of the popular stereotypes about sexually liberated people.
What has been the practical result of people learning about your vision of a free sexual life with multiple partners? There is still a long way to go in the discussion about polyamory and respect for this way of being in life? And the alternative sex? The role you had and have is very important for having published this book. Because writing is a very solitary pursuit, this kind of feedback is hugely important to me – without that sort of support, it would be very difficult to keep sitting at the keyboard cranking out books. There isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t get letters from people telling us how important my books have been in helping them feel okay about their desires.
That’s led to much greater visibility for polyamorous and non-monogamous people – to phenomena like the Newsweek cover story a year or two ago, and the reality series featuring a long-term triad, and so on.ĭo you believe that, with this and your other books, was able to help many people to open their horizons and live their sexuality without fear and with respect? Our book is part of that, of course, but I think it has a lot more to do with the Internet – now people who are interested in alternatives to traditional monogamy have ways to find each other, to compare their experiences and share their wisdom. There’s been a huge change in attitude since we published the first edition of The Ethical Slut back in 1997. This book attempts to break the idea that anyone who has more than one person is not a bitch/bastard, given the profoundly monogamous society? You can break up this prejudice, label? But when it matters is when someone who has been abused during BDSM is afraid to go to the police because they’re afraid nobody will take their complaint seriously, or when someone loses their job or custody of their children because the courts don’t understand the difference between abuse and consensual BDSM.Īlong with Dossie Easton created The Ethical Slut. It doesn’t really matter much how people feel privately about BDSM they can be prejudiced against it or not, and if they don’t like it, then they don’t have to do it. There’s a lot less prejudice than there used to be – especially among younger people – but we still have a long way to go. It passed six years since the making of this film, in general considers that there has been progress in the elimination of prejudices? None of us who were interviewed look much like the heartless sadists or cringing masochists many people imagine – and that’s because, in 30-plus years in the BDSM scene, I’ve never met anyone who is much like those stereotypes.
I think people who saw the movie definitely learned a lot about how real-world BDSM practitioners are far more varied and ethical than the stereotypes would indicate. Rub-a-dub-dub popped his cork in your backdoor and whether or not you subsequently "pooped out a clear gooey liquid," the bottom line on your bottom is that you had unprotected receptive anal sex and barebacking is risky business! My advice is that you have HIV testing at the three-month mark.Through your BDSM movie : Its Not What You Think, can you managed to break many stigmas and stereotypes ? And the general public saw the BDSM with different eyes ? What are my risks? Please give me advice! Thank you. I called the massage parlor and they said that masseuses get tested every 3 months and that he didnt ejaculate in me. The next day or two I had a little of this liquid come out with my diarrhea as well but not as much as that night. The twist is that I had gotten diarrhea earlier that day and so that night after the massage I pooped out a clear, gooey liquid. I was sure that he didnt ejaculate, until I went home. During the body to body contact the masseuse fingered and rimmed me, the masseuse then stuck his penis in my butt for maybe 2 minutes at most, combined, 2 or 3 times, without a condom. The massage included naked body to body contact and the masseuse performing oral sex on me (no condom).